1) Why you talk so quiet but you stay answerin questions? Can't nobody hear yo ass. You sit in the front and center of the class. That's fine. You answer questions that the teacher asks without making unnecessary comments, and you don't ask the dumbest questions known to man. More power to you. But when you do talk, for some reason, you think that you and the teacher are talking and there's about 150 sleeping, light-sleeping babies around. Whispering is an understatement. And let's hope that 3/4 of the class is sitting behind you and you have your back to everybody, so nobody can hear ANYTHING you're saying. Most of the time, I'm chilling in the back corner (I'll get to why it isn't all the time later), and so you are speaking so that I cannot hear A SINGLE....WORD...THAT YOU...ARE SAYING. So don't do it. Speak like there's people trying to hear whatever you have to say, because - newsflash - THERE ARE. Nobody likes it when you're talking like there's a tiger trying to listen in to your conversation.
2) Why you answerin questions, but you just talkin to yoself? Then yo ass is wrong, lookin all dumb and shit. You're sitting in class and your teacher asks a question. Then you hear a bunch of people kinda mumble the answer, say it half-assedly, nothing special. But then the teacher asks a rhetorical question, and you hear a whisper come from right next to you. "The inverse square law." But everybody knew that. Nobody needed you to say anything at all. But you did. Not loud enough for the asker to hear, but loud enough for you to make me wonder why you answered. I can't even be funny about this. Just don't do it while I'm around, because you might hear me mumble something that rhymes with 'docksucker' right in your face, bitch.
3) Why you noddin yo head every 3 seconds like you interviewin Peyton Manning at halftime? Tell me that. You're looking in front of you trying to pay attention to the teacher, maybe. Just pretending you're taking a class called Trapanomics 394, and your teacher is lecturing. "As referenced in many Shawty Lo, Gucci Mane, and Yo Gotti songs..." [head nods] "...among many others..." [rapid head nods] "...a brick of cocaine priced at $17, 500 is considered to be a good starting point for price." Then another head nod or two, or seven. OK, the teacher knows you're paying attention, but there's about 25 people who are on Facebook, e-mail, or their favorite blog, so you're not making him or her that much happier. So stop making it all about you, sit back, and listen, or don't, just do you in your own world.
4) This one pisses me off the least, but for the shortest amount of time. This is the classic late afternoon on a hot, hazy, humid summer day thunderstorm of anger. There's no assigned seats, but if you're sitting in a somewhat crowded class, you find a seat and within about three weeks, everybody knows where they're going to sit for the rest of the semester, more or less. So when I walk in to my 9AM class (already groggy and pissed off) at 8:59 and you're in the seat that I'm ready to pass out in, you got me riled up ready to throw a bitch right out the window. But I won't care about 5 minutes later. You're lucky.
So just quit acting weird in class. There's no reason for that. Sit down and shut up, or answer questions that are supposed to be answered. Go ahead and make comments or answer questions, but remember that we don't all have bionic ears, no matter what you might think. Speaking at a normal tone isn't going to hurt us.
Feel free to leave a comment about what other things piss you off in class, student, teacher, or whatever else.
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