I wake up at about 10am feeling mad useless. It's time to go back to Northern Virginia today (read the previous post to see how my fellow blogger and myself both feel about NOVA) and I have about an hour to get everything packed away. It's all good, the last night was great, especially since the Cavs lost (LeBron James missed a dunk and I went crazy), whatever, no reason to complain. My friend and I headed back north, and the car ride consisted of listening to metal and DMX and cursing under our breaths everytime we passed a stupid fuckin Cracker Barrel. We go to McDonald's and we get food. We go back to my friend's house and he wants to watch MTV Jams, and I couldn't complain. Our new favorite rapper, OJ Da Juiceman, has a new video and about 3 minutes after I said "What if OJ Da Juiceman's new video comes on?", it did. Hell yeah. So We go to a thrift store to go get some hats and they're all tight as shit. He takes me home and drops me off and I unload all my shit into the room. I'm home, and it kinda sucks.
So I'm trying to leave. Unfortunately, I have no car, so I have to borrow my dad's car. I ask him to borrow it because I need to go to Big Lots and get some 60 cent energy drinks to sip upon during the break (I've already run out, and it's Tuesday). He says fine, why don't you get some Chinese food while you're at it, and so I go.
This is where shit gets real real. REAL real.
I'll skip the purchase, because there's nothing special. I come out and head over to the car. Before I can make it to the driver's seat, some 14 or 15 year old lookin girl comes up to me. This is what happened after she walked up to me.
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Her: "Hey, there's a party at my house tonight and I'll be home alone after that."
I wanted to shit myself, but that would have been embarassing and I would have had to buy clothes to wear on the ride home.
Me: "Oh, that's cool."
Her: "It's in [neighborhood]."
I didn't hear her.
Me: "What?"
Her: "It's in [neighborhood]. [Address]."
This is when I realized something that I'll mention in a second. I had to leave, and I had to leave at that moment.
Me: "Oh, ok, I know where that is, maybe I'll stop by. Thanks."
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What I realized is that the address she gave was exactly five houses from where I lived as a child. That might not be a coincidence, but it was really gross to me seeing as how this child wanted an older dude to show up to a party where there would probably be enough alcohol and chips for me to get tipsy and almost full. It's possible that she expected that this dude with the college T-shirt would just automatically bring a 24 pack of Keystone Light, but that never crossed my mind. Anyway, all the memories of my childhood in that neighborhood went through my head and I shook my head and got in the driver's seat, and drove away as fast as possible. I was so shaken up that I forgot to capitalize on this:
because of course, there's no KFC within 8 miles of my damn house. Fuck my life.
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2 comments:
she was a cop
she wanted your DICK which neighborhood?
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