Twilight Review

Has anyone ever had irritable bowl syndrome? It's where you have drips of poop come from your butt, but you can't control it. My pediatrician said it's because I don't wash my hands before eating. In any case, I had a rather severe case during this movie and the girl next to me didn't like it.

Right after lab, I went with this girl to see Twilight. I enjoy going to the movies instead of taking women out to dinner because then I don't have to talk to them. Twilight is about a vampire and a nerdy girl. I think they have sex and she becomes a vampire. Either that or pregnant like in the real world. Or maybe they didn't even have sex-that's apparently the trend with teenagers these days. I was not really sure what was going on because ten minutes into the movie, I noticed some dripping from my anus. The air around me started to stink as well. Uh oh, my irritable bowl syndrome had struck again. I took out a couple of tissues and stuck them in my pants, hoping to wipe off all the digested residue. Unfortunately the girl I was with saw me even though I thought she had her eyes glued to the screen. I got so stressed, I farted hard and pooped in the entire seat. The date was pretty much over at that point.

Score: 2/5

T-Pain's "Thr33 Ringz"

***Let me make sure that you know that the post with the picture of the Asian woman is the first post by my partner in crime. Make sure you look at the poster of the article because there are now two people posting to It's All Hype.

T-Pain - "Thr33 Ringz"
Review by The Neighborhood Bully

T-Pain, the man you've probably heard in everybody else's song, from Flo Rida’s “Low” to Lil Wayne’s “Got Money,” released his third album, aptly entitled "Thr33 Ringz." If you’re one to judge a book (or an album in this case) by its cover, you would probably deem this CD one of the best of this century, as the album artwork is utterly mind-blowing. After you pick your jaw up off the ground and actually listen to the CD, you realize that it’s the T-Pain we’ve come to love (or hate) – the man who wears top hats instead of baseball caps – but he’s taken everything to a whole new level. What were formerly two-line throwaway punch lines are now full-length songs. “Chopped N Skrewed” deals with getting treated poorly by a woman at the club. “Phantom,” a track included in the deluxe edition, is nothing more than him stalking his ex-girlfriend and speaking about it for three and a half minutes. “Karaoke,” on the other hand, is a song with a very powerful message. This song is T-Pain’s diss track to all the artists criticizing him for his use of Autotune, as well as the artists abusing Autotune themselves. In this song, he raps instead of singing to show the rappers what it’s like to be copied. “Thr33 Ringz,” for its “creative” content and the way in which it is presented, is as bizarre as the circus that seems to be going on in his mind. One of the lines in “Ringleader Man” works perfectly to explain why this album seems so abnormal: “You can’t understand the s--- that comes out of my head.”

Rating: 4/5

UPDATE: Got into that school newspaper.

Service from my Stylist

Durrrr dear reader,

I needed a haircut. So I went down to this Chinese place; the business wasn't really a barbershop, but more of a salon. Regardless, the price for a man's haircut was cheap. It was a Tuesday. The girl who offered to cut my hair was aight. She was skinny and had nice boobs. She looked something like the breezy in this image to the left. BOOM. Anyway, she started trimming the sides and I asked if she would blow me. She said sure, but no kissing on the mouth. In the end, I made out with her and got up in her. Things like this should happen more often.

PS who would get more pussy? Ellen playing rugby or Keith Olbermann outside of an abortion clinic?

I think I messed up. No wonder my aunt touches me inappropriately. I deserve it.

The Lab

This is a recreation of Billy Beats and Sammy Samples at work in the lab, making hit records and shit like that.*

*Keep in mind that this is actually not that far from the truth.

Dude, What The Fuck?

Why don't you just throw your money away?

A 40 now costs MORE than a gallon of gas. I don't know why that is making me go crazy, but it is, and I thought that that needed to be brought to everybody's attention.

40 oz of Steel Reserve - $1.98 after tax
1 gallon of regular unleaded gas - $1.799

Maybe I should start drinking some gasoline out of one of those gallon containers. That would be what's hot in the street.

Steve Wilkos

OK, we get it, this guy's a scumbag. It doesn't take a skinhead, Howie Mandel mixed with used condom-lookin motherfucker to tell me that.

About 6 months ago, and maybe until about 4 weeks ago, I would have taken a bullet for this man. His show, the Steve Wilkos Show was probably my #1 seed when it came to TV shows, to the point where I would have taken a fuckin' bullet for him just to keep the show on the air. He would scream at motherfuckers left and right, threaten them (kinda), and throw chairs and shit. IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.

Well, that was then, and this is later than then.

The show's in its second season, and nothing has changed. Except Steve got a really, really, dark tan. When I saw that tan, I said, "Shit."

That was a little while ago, and this is now.

Now it bores me. Bored so much that I have to leave now.

Go cop Thr33 Ringz, and look out for the CD review that I'ma put in that school newspaper.

Tha Terror-arium

Tha Terror-arium is a hip hop production duo from Orlando, Florida, consisting of Sammy Samples (born Samuel PullOva Samples) and the late Billy Beats (born Wilhelm Wheredagold Beats). They came together to form the team in 2000, but they have known each other since they were in kindergarten. They are best known for producing the hit single "Hustlin'", by rapper Rick Ross. They have also produced songs for artists like Fat Joe, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones and Lil Wayne. They are currently working on songs for Danity Kane, Day26, Teairra Mari, Jadakiss, T.I., Young Jeezy, Trey Songz, Christina Milian, Ciara, and Mariah Carey.[1].

Pictures of Billy and Sammy at work are soon to come.