Having Power

I finally tried one of the Domino's sandwiches (the Chicken Bacon Ranch) and it was amazing. Even though it was a glorified pizza between two pieces of crust, it was still that shit and it spit hot fire. It was also essentially free, and so to that, I have nothing else to say but, "Ain't nothin' wrong with that."

Anyway, there's a hurricane coming. Hurricane Hanna. Or maybe it's a tropical storm. I don't give a shit. All I'm waiting for is for the storm to come so it can rain all over my already fucked-up bike and just break it for good. Even more than that, I can't wait for the storm to come so me and my roommates can hang out in no power. That would be some bomb ass shit. I personally think there's nothing more fun than trying to find out what you can do to have any kind of fun without power. Well, there's a few things, but I would be reunited with Chris Hansen if I did some of those things.

I'm gonna play weatherman here, mostly because I have nothing else to do, and also because my dream is to be a weatherman in Arizona. Easiest job in the country. "For the next seventy days, it'll be nearing 105 degrees and completely sunny." Then you can just chill and pound a 12 pack of Keystone Light, make hella mistakes, and then pass out face-first on the set of K-whatever, airing out of Phoenix. So, here goes nothin'.

Here's what people on the Weather Channel and shit like that are saying:
"This cyclone could become a hurricane before landfall, and it will be moving quite quickly through much of the Mid-Atlantic and further up the East Coast. Power outages are likely from motherfuckin North Carolina to the coast of Virginia."

I'm calling bullshit on a lot of that right now.

95% of the time, a woman hurricane ain't gon do shit, because, hello, it's a woman. You might say, "Katrina, Isabel, remember those?" and I'll say, "Shut up, Katrina just sounds like a girl who fights dudes for fun, and Isabel was no Andrew or Floyd." How bout that. Anyway, yeah, Hanna sounds like a gurl who does her nails every night and goes to the club to find guys, but not to run train on her. NOT EVEN EIFFEL TOWER. No, no, she wants the compliments and that's it. Anyway, yeah, Hanna ain't gon do shit until it changes its name to Hans (pronounced with as deep an accent as possible).

It's moving fast, man. You usually need one of two things to knock out the power: Either one or two really good gusts or some prolonged wind. I don't see the second one happening, and the first one is iffy because it's gonna go by real fast.

Finally, if it makes landfall in SC, it'll weaken. It's already weak. In the few hours after it makes landfall, it'll be a garbage depression or something and who will care, other than the Weather Channel, because they live for hurricane season, snow, and heat waves. If none of that is happening they have NOTHING to go on, and they'll probably report on a thunderstorm about 12 miles SSW of Tupelo. And I'm sure more than about 29 people care. Pssssh.

Peace out.

Currently watching: Some movie with Robert Drugfiend, Jr. that everybody else seems to love, and hey, it ain't that bad, but I'm in bloggerzone right now.
Currently listening to: Yo Gotti, "Back 2 Da Basics." This CD is hotter than Plies in a brick oven in July.