Twilight Review

Has anyone ever had irritable bowl syndrome? It's where you have drips of poop come from your butt, but you can't control it. My pediatrician said it's because I don't wash my hands before eating. In any case, I had a rather severe case during this movie and the girl next to me didn't like it.

Right after lab, I went with this girl to see Twilight. I enjoy going to the movies instead of taking women out to dinner because then I don't have to talk to them. Twilight is about a vampire and a nerdy girl. I think they have sex and she becomes a vampire. Either that or pregnant like in the real world. Or maybe they didn't even have sex-that's apparently the trend with teenagers these days. I was not really sure what was going on because ten minutes into the movie, I noticed some dripping from my anus. The air around me started to stink as well. Uh oh, my irritable bowl syndrome had struck again. I took out a couple of tissues and stuck them in my pants, hoping to wipe off all the digested residue. Unfortunately the girl I was with saw me even though I thought she had her eyes glued to the screen. I got so stressed, I farted hard and pooped in the entire seat. The date was pretty much over at that point.

Score: 2/5