(As much as I hate Soulja Boy now, I still love this song like my firstborn. Hopefully I never have a child.)
That song is about his extremely expensive phone. His Sidekick, a phone that does little more than a high-end cellphone that I could pull out of Verizon's ass for like $100.
You have a screen that's as big as a business card. GREAT!!! I'm sure the Super Bowl would look great on that. I'm sure texting on that is a bigger event than the Last Supper, you piece of shit.
Your phone has a keyboard. OOOOOOO!!! What's a keyboard? Damn, I wish there were keyboards somewhere else. WAIT!! They're on COMPUTERS!!! Can you not wait half an hour to get to a computer? No? Oh. OK then, at least I know to NEVER think of you as somebody normal again. EVER.
Internet access? Damn. perezhilton.com must be bombass on a screen the size of my now empty debit card, if not smaller.
YOU CAN FLIP THE SCREEN UP!!! Holy shit! At least the United States isn't falling apart at the seams. People are losing their homes left and right and you have a phone you can flip up. Your phone just becomes BIGGER. Your phone takes up a lot of space. You are a waste of space and so is your phone. Come to think of it, you and your phone are great together.
Die.
iPhone users:
Your phone looks like an iPod. And it really sucks as a phone.
Your phone has 39,874 applications. Facebook has about that many applications, and just look at how many FUCKING people think that those things are the work of Lucifer.
LOOK AT MY iPHONE!!! You have a shirt that says "iHave an iPhone 3G", your shit is out 24/8, you talk about it more often than that, and yet you still wear tighty-whiteys and don't know what the walls of a uterus feel like. Still think you're the man?
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Look, this post wasn't aimed at the people who have their phones and enjoy them TO THEMSELVES. It's for the people that think they have Fort Knox's contents in their hairy palm (you know why it's hairy). You text, you talk, and you go on the internet. Any phone made after the Vietnam War can do that. Your phone looks like a toaster, mine looks like a small stick of deodorant. Yours was $500, mine was $14.99. People start conversati0ns with you about your cool phone and then leave when they realize you're a pompous maniac.
And you think you're the shit.
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2 comments:
when they invent a phone with a breathalyzer it's going to be more fun than a fresh prince marathon
that would eliminate a lot of big mistakes that happen with cellphones
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