Damn, I'm on a floppin' spree...

Realer than the Crackheads Gone Wild documentary.

Lamer than that one president with the Polio.

Sadder than the Detroit Lions' 2008 season (I did this picture).

From Hip Hop Galaxy (I had to do a lot of grammar-fixing in this article):

Who debuted #1 on Billboard’s Rap Albums Charts? Plies with his third solo album Da REAList selling a solid 114,600 units and featuring Ashanti and Sean Garrett...After a campaign telling everybody that he would sell a million albums in the first week, Soulja Boy only manages to enter the charts at #4 with his
second album iSouljaBoyTellEm moving only 45,500 units despite appearances from Gucci Mane and Shawty Lo.

Many things here make me happy. I'll name them and then tell you why they're great.

Plies debuted at #1 (for rap). Plies is my second favorite rapper, only behind Yo Gotti (the stand-in for Gucci Mane). Now 114,600 isn't as good as a million, like Lil Wayne got that week that Plies released Definition of Real. Still, he did better than the next best selling rap album that was a new entry.

Soulja Boy's CD moved 45,500 units. That's just over 40% of Plies' first week albums sold. Fine, that's ok. We're in a recession, and nobody buys any music anymore. However, that's UNDER 5% of his estimated totals of 1 million albums sold. Asshole. You got pretty close. Just think. If you said, "I'm gonna run a marathon today," and you have the success of Soulja Boy, you would go just over 1 mile. That SUCKS. Real bad.

Hey Soulja Boy, remember "Crank That"? Yeah, that was a real nice time. Don't worry though, you still did better than V.I.C., of "Get Silly" fame, because his CD, Beast released like 20,000. Ever. Awful. Fuck.

They also mentioned Gucci Mane and Shawty Lo, and I fuck with both of them.

Last thing I wanted to say was that Paper Trail and Theater of the Mind beat iSouljaBoyTellEm - this week. Paper Trail came out about three months ago and is still selling more than Soulja Boy's shit. Theater of the Mind came out about a month ago and I assume that "One More Drink" got big and made that CD sell more. Soulja Boy might want to fix that beef with T-Pain and stop putting Sammie on your singles. Sammie? Bitch, who the fuck are you. Punk bitch. Go die somewhere.