The WORST word of 2009

(from left to right: stereotypical blonde bitch, stereotypical blonde bitch, out of place bitch that nobody cares about, and another blonde bitch)

Before I start, you should probably know that I hate girls that think their shit smells like the area around the Cinnabon stand in your local mall. You'll probably learn everything else you need to know as you read through this post.

Let's move on.

So it's like 7:45 and, shockingly, I have nothing to watch on TV. I'm flipping through the channels and I see that Rock of Love Bus is on, so I decide to watch the episode that I've seen already more than once. The episode goes along, nothing special, same shit, fightin', drinkin', and altogether cuntin' it up like they always do about this time. So they're at elimination and there's a lot of girls from the pink bus (there's that and the blue bus; most of the blonde trash is on the pink bus) and this one dirty slut Gia's confessional thing comes on and she says something that made me cringe. I'll try to quote it as best I can.

"...and I see all my girls from the pink bus go on to the next round and I say 'No, you can't send my girls home, you can't break up the Blondetourage.'..."

As soon as that last word came out of her mouth, I did this:

and then I did that again, and again, and again.

Blondetourage? Seriously?!? As clever as it is (and I will admit, it's very clever), it's still the worst thing ever, because it just means that any girl that decides to bleach her hair can automatically join, and as soon as her roots spring right back out of her scalp, she's out again. That's garbage. But there's no way the girl who had another girl take a shot out of her vagina (yes, that REALLY happened) could think that up. So I go to the trusty Google and search for "blondetourage." First result was: Blondetourage.com - Celebrate the Blonde in All of Us!

I went. The last time I went to a website and regretted it this much, (WARNING: SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH IF YOU'RE EASILY UPSET) I opened a video of a man with both hands fully in a girl's asshole with tons of anal lube. The man was moving his hands around in a motion that people do when washing their hands or trying to warm their hands up in front of the fireplace, or a steel trash can with fire coming out of it. Also, he might have been clapping while inside. Make sure you turn the sound on too. It's like birds chirping during a dawn in late April.

Go ahead and check out Blondetourage.com if you want, and even search for "Texas Hand Washer (the grosser one), I'm not even going to tell you what's there. There's more ads and videos and Flash and images and shit than a Russian porn site on Blondetourage, so don't be surprised if you do decide to visit it.

I looked through the website again, and I want to puke, because they have Blondegerie. Yeah. Refer to the second picture. That's it - I'm pissed off now.