The Lab

This is a recreation of Billy Beats and Sammy Samples at work in the lab, making hit records and shit like that.*

*Keep in mind that this is actually not that far from the truth.

Dude, What The Fuck?

Why don't you just throw your money away?

A 40 now costs MORE than a gallon of gas. I don't know why that is making me go crazy, but it is, and I thought that that needed to be brought to everybody's attention.

40 oz of Steel Reserve - $1.98 after tax
1 gallon of regular unleaded gas - $1.799

Maybe I should start drinking some gasoline out of one of those gallon containers. That would be what's hot in the street.

Steve Wilkos

OK, we get it, this guy's a scumbag. It doesn't take a skinhead, Howie Mandel mixed with used condom-lookin motherfucker to tell me that.

About 6 months ago, and maybe until about 4 weeks ago, I would have taken a bullet for this man. His show, the Steve Wilkos Show was probably my #1 seed when it came to TV shows, to the point where I would have taken a fuckin' bullet for him just to keep the show on the air. He would scream at motherfuckers left and right, threaten them (kinda), and throw chairs and shit. IT WAS UNBELIEVABLE.

Well, that was then, and this is later than then.

The show's in its second season, and nothing has changed. Except Steve got a really, really, dark tan. When I saw that tan, I said, "Shit."

That was a little while ago, and this is now.

Now it bores me. Bored so much that I have to leave now.

Go cop Thr33 Ringz, and look out for the CD review that I'ma put in that school newspaper.

Tha Terror-arium

Tha Terror-arium is a hip hop production duo from Orlando, Florida, consisting of Sammy Samples (born Samuel PullOva Samples) and the late Billy Beats (born Wilhelm Wheredagold Beats). They came together to form the team in 2000, but they have known each other since they were in kindergarten. They are best known for producing the hit single "Hustlin'", by rapper Rick Ross. They have also produced songs for artists like Fat Joe, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones and Lil Wayne. They are currently working on songs for Danity Kane, Day26, Teairra Mari, Jadakiss, T.I., Young Jeezy, Trey Songz, Christina Milian, Ciara, and Mariah Carey.[1].

Pictures of Billy and Sammy at work are soon to come.

The Economy

Safer than putting your money in the bank.

THIS IS ALL COMING FROM A GUY WHO KNOWS NOTHING

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All I have to say is it's all bullshit. Nothing's gonna happen. Sure, you might think you're fucked when you start falling down the roller coaster, but there's always another climb. Plus, people continue to forget that this is the United States of America.

Remember when we won pretty much every war we ever fought in, and then when we didn't win, we just refought them until they gave up? Yeah.

Remember the Great Depression? We got out of it (eventually).

Remember when gas was like $4.39.9? Yeah, apparently it's about $1.50 less than that, when these same douches kept saying gas could get to $8 a gallon and it would never get below $4 again. Whoops.

OK, that's me dumping out my "facts." Here's my main question: How can the global economy be fucked? It's not like we're dumping money into the Earth's orbit or launching it onto Mars. So then if we were to lose money, wouldn't everybody have more money that came from us?

I'm calling BULLSHIT on it all. BULL SHIT!!!!!

I have shit to do, maybe I'll say more later.

Paying Attention During Class

She's got the right idea.

Here I am, 15 minutes before the end of class, doing nothing but blogging. I ran out of shit to do on the internet, and there's no way in hell I'm gonna pay attention in this class. I tried that, and I almost fell out of my chair. (I did get some notes, but they looked a lot like volcanoes and pictures of aliens with beards.) Drawing picutres in your notebook gets really old really fast though, especially when you're as bad at drawing as I am. So you bring your computer, and you say, "This'll give me something to do for the next hour and twenty minutes. This'll keep me awake." Shit like that sounds like it makes sense, but only to a point. There's only so many exclusive hip hop song blogs you can look at, so many bitches to ogle, so many YouTube videos to watch on silent, so many stories on espn.com about how great the Cowboys are (FUCK THEM), and it goes on. Those will take you to about the 45 minute mark. In a 50 minute class, that's perfect. NOT in an 80 minute class. You still have 35 minutes to kill. So what the FUCK do you do?

Maybe you start playing online games. That addictinggames.com shit. But I really don't have the patience, and I have a feeling that your teacher will know you're playing one of those racing games when you're pounding the R key and holding down the right arrow key to hit that perfect slide. That's not for me. I tried it, but Blitz 2001 is really a pretty big investment when it comes to paying atttention.

Maybe you check your e-mail. But unless you're the CEO of General Mills, you're not gonna have anything important in your inbox. There's a club meeting today, I knew that already. "Son, when's your next break." You can reply to that in 5 seconds. "Friday, Dad." And I'd love to add, "And oh yeah, I'm writing this to you during class, because I'd rather not pay attention to my teacher."

I'm so tired of this blog right here that I can't even blog about how to waste time - to waste time. I'm done with it. 5 minutes left in class - time to catch some Z's.

An Interim Favorite Rapper Is Crowned

The votes are in. And the winner of "Who Wants to be Chris' favorite rapper until Gucci Mane gets out?" is...

Yo Gotti.

"Cocaine Muzik" is the mixtape of the century.

Here's the thing - when I was looking for a favorite artist, I wanted somebody who was like Gucci Mane, but not copying him. Nobody likes some punk ass prick who's jockin' yo' swag. Just ask Rocko. Or T.I., or Jay-Z, or Kanye West, or to a lesser extent, Lil Wayne. Gucci Mane has no swagger, so that shouldn't be a problem. Bla, bla, bla. Basically, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I should use as criteria.

I settled on three main ones: enjoyability, amount of music I have by them, and similarity to Gucci Mane.

I toyed with Plies, Lil' Wayne, T-Pain, Yung Joc, Shawty L-O, and a few other useless people, but nobody is as similar to Gucci Mane as Yo Gotti, IMHO.

Plies is extremely funny, and he's so real, but he's my #2 favorite. I want to start listening to somebody who I barely payed attention to. T-Pain is a great guy, but more than half his shit is R&B. Lil' Wayne almost has too much shit, and I mean, he's everybody else's favorite rapper, and I don't usually like to like something just because everybody else likes it. (See Superbad and movies like that, Will Ferrell and other douches like that, the Red Sox, the Patriots, the Cowboys, watching movies, Lost and shows like that, etc.) That's just me. So I like him, but I won't cream myself over him. Yung Joc doesn't make enough music - or maybe he does, but I don't see it. I wanna be able to listen to a CD a week and be able to hear new shit for 3 months before I run out. Shawty Lo. Even I, who loves him when apparently nobody else does, can get tired of him kinda quick.

So we move on to Yo Gotti. I like him a lot. Mostly because it seems like he's best friends with Gucci Mane. Two birds, one stone. So it's only how much music I have of him. The best thing is that since Yo Gotti & Gucci Mane are good friends, I can listen to Gucci Mane and Yo Gotti all the time because they're featured on each other's shit all the time. I got a lot of Gucci, I got a lot of Gotti. I got more mixtapes of him, and there's more of them out there that I can go pick up or something.

And there you have it. Yo Gotti is my man until October 2009, or when Gucci gets off on parole or something.