June 10th, 2008 - Day-Long Boner

TUESDAY, JUNE TENTH, TWO THOUSAND EIGHT - revisited

Lil Wayne - "Tha Carter III"

Possibly the biggest album of the year. Definitely the biggest album (most hyped, most awaited, all that shit) of the week. But somehow, it was only my third favorite album of the week. It fell behind Plies' "Definition of Real" and Keak Da Sneak's "Deified." I decided to listen to this one in my car, because I felt like this was meant to be listened to while doing something enjoyable, and I love driving more than a lot of things. No track-by-track listing here, I can just say that a few songs are good, none made my dick tear through my pants, and a few were unlistenable. However, that's only really an issue if you listen to selected songs. Let the CD play and you're all good, just enjoy the experience. Not terrible, not great, above mediocre. Any other week, this would be the best album of the week. On Tuesday, June 10th, 2008, that's only good enough for the bronze medal.





Plies - "Definition of Real"

"Went to sleep real, woke up realer / Goon affiliated, ex-drug dealer." Plies. Plies, Plies, Plies, Plies, Plies, what am I going to do with you? Plies, I love you (no homo). I would tickle your perineum until you jizzed, and I'd yank your hog until you let go all over my face (no homo). That may be a bit much, but I do enjoy his work. He's so real. He can talk about hiding in your bushes, then talk about making you squirt like Cytheria on the very next track. What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty real man (say it again, y'all). The CD has no terrible songs. Some are sub-par (which I think means below average, even though sub-par means under par, which is great...whatever), some are aight, and some ("Who Hotter Than Me", "Dat Bitch", "SHIT BAG"!!!!) are 10s out of 10 in my book. This CD is pretty solid in my eyes, and is quite similar to "The Real Testament" in that both CDs are terrific. DoR, however, was not nearly as terrific as...



Keak Da Sneak - Deified


Damn. This may be the first CD that had no songs that I hated. Some I didn't like all that much, but they were few and far between. Quarterbackin is in my top 25 songs of all time, and I'll need to remember that when the Neighborhood Bully gets big enough to have a countdown on BET's weekend programming of my top 25 of all time.


Some bitch just drove by playing "Crank That (Soulja Boy)." Today. July 22nd, 2008. Nearly a year after the song reached its peak. Over a year since the song was released. I hate S-Beezy. SOOOOOOO MUCH.


Anyway, back to Keak, the King of the Super Dooper Hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy hyphy(and your wifey, she don't like me like me like me like me like me). He's the man. I don't know what the fuck else to say, other than this CD is in my top 10 all-time, maybe top 5. The songs haven't gotten old, and I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Will Ferrell's bitchassness will be addressed in the next post, don't you worry.